Whipping my culture out can be fun.

How can I describe what it feels like to have a North-East Coast accent and my appearance is American.  I feel like a fraud some days.  In my heart of hearts, I know my heart is different then my neighbors.  It was shaped differently.  Not better, not bigger, nor is it sweeter.  It’s just different. 

I have friends.  Very good friends.  I have made closer friendships then people who have lived in this community their entire life.  I have friends who I consider and love as my own family. 

Even so I can sense there is a piece of me that sometimes feels neglected.  Unplayed.  Not brought out into the sun.  Put away. My culture is in a dish in a closet.  The culture I learned to define myself in, learned about and shaped my life in, developed a sense of art in, learned to express myself and communicate in, created my sensibilities regarding church, humour, love, politics and songs is often different then my closest friends.  Even my partner. 

Whipping my culture out can be fun.  It nourishes me.  Allows me to feel myself.  I often think in an English accent much like any foreigner will think in their mother tongue.  I often speak with an accent to my children.  They don’t think me fraudulent.  I repeat sayings that my mum, grandparents, aunties and uncles and those who loved me said to me.  What they said and what I say to my children is not so important.  It is in the manner, tone and inflection of my voice in which they spoke to me that I am repeating.  Soft reassuring and loving tones that communicated feelings of being cared about without actually saying the words “I love and care about you.”

It’s not just about what shit sounds like it’s what it tastes like too.  “Have you ever had a proper cuppa’ tea?”  I thought that in a
London accent.  That’s where I’m from. 

Don’t mistake any of this as unpatriotic.  I love and respect
America.  I cry every time I sing the national anthem at a ball game.  I know all the words. And I feel them in my heart.  I have honorably served in this country’s armed forces.  I live here and know how lucky I am.