the philosophic relationship between god and the caller id

One of the best things god has created in this pre-millennium era is the caller id.  You wonder how the household survived prior to the intervention of this remarkable invention.  Everyone knows that the phone won’t ring until you pick up a hammer, break out the 2000 piece puzzle or start supper. 

If I consider my history with Ma Bell it wasn’t until I became a teenager that I actually remember talking into it on a regular basis.  Before my teenage years it was an occasional conversation with an auntie or my Nan.  As a teenager it became the conduit to meet up with friends and lovers.  During my twenties my lifestyle dictated that a phone was no use whatever.  I worked from boat to boat to port to port to couch to couch.  My life became the neighborhood of the port I was living in.  Occasionally I would drop the obligatory post card or some letter inspired by an emotion that squeezed out of the haze of those times. 

 

Today as I move around my kitchen cooking dinner, replacing a pacifier where it belongs, trying to impart socially acceptable behaviors to my oldest three, loading the dishwasher, yelling at my oldest three, stubbing my toe the phone will ring.  My relationship with Ma Bell has changed dramatically.  Now that I get needs met at home, my work rarely calls, my friends call a few times a week, the phone is hardly ever for me.  This means that when it does shiver out a bell noise I rarely break stride in what I’m doing.  If I’m partially curious to know who is calling I will listen to the answering machine, if by happenstance I’m right next to the phone I might flip it over and glance at the caller id to see who it is.  In the conversational world of Ma Bell I wield self imposed god like powers as I refuse to answer any call from any 1-800#’s nor will I answer any call whose number I don’t recognize.  Upon reflection, perhaps this attitude is reflective of how I have been beaten up by relentless phone peddlers banging away at me to buy ginsu knives, support the Fraternal Order of Police, Vietnam Veterans Association, insurance, mortgages, financial planning or a bridge over land in Florida. 

…no more surprises nor more rude salesman just the people who I want to talk to.  Tell me the caller id wasn’t inspired by god.