Whipping my culture out can be fun.
August 22, 2006
How can I describe what it feels like to have a North-East Coast accent and my appearance is American. I feel like a fraud some days. In my heart of hearts, I know my heart is different then my neighbors. It was shaped differently. Not better, not bigger, nor is it sweeter. It’s just different.
I have friends. Very good friends. I have made closer friendships then people who have lived in this community their entire life. I have friends who I consider and love as my own family.
Even so I can sense there is a piece of me that sometimes feels neglected. Unplayed. Not brought out into the sun. Put away. My culture is in a dish in a closet. The culture I learned to define myself in, learned about and shaped my life in, developed a sense of art in, learned to express myself and communicate in, created my sensibilities regarding church, humour, love, politics and songs is often different then my closest friends. Even my partner.
Whipping my culture out can be fun. It nourishes me. Allows me to feel myself. I often think in an English accent much like any foreigner will think in their mother tongue. I often speak with an accent to my children. They don’t think me fraudulent. I repeat sayings that my mum, grandparents, aunties and uncles and those who loved me said to me. What they said and what I say to my children is not so important. It is in the manner, tone and inflection of my voice in which they spoke to me that I am repeating. Soft reassuring and loving tones that communicated feelings of being cared about without actually saying the words “I love and care about you.”
It’s not just about what shit sounds like it’s what it tastes like too. “Have you ever had a proper cuppa’ tea?” I thought that in a
London accent. That’s where I’m from.
Don’t mistake any of this as unpatriotic. I love and respect
America. I cry every time I sing the national anthem at a ball game. I know all the words. And I feel them in my heart. I have honorably served in this country’s armed forces. I live here and know how lucky I am.
Entry Filed under: hey now. .
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1.
Sandra | August 23, 2006 at 4:13 pm
You write beautfully John. Because I have known you for several years but mostly in cyberspace, I always think of you as being this English guy who has adapted beautifully to America. I know you to be a man who adores his wife and kids and has a huge capacity for giving to others. I also know you to be one who does not say the word ‘love’ loosely. I respect and admire you so much.
Hey bloke – would you give me my tea with ice cubes in it?
2.
1steak | August 23, 2006 at 6:37 pm
Ice tea is great. When I dream about retirement, ice tea is always in the picture. That could be fodder for a new blog. Thank you for the nice compliments. I appreciate that. Hey…seeing as your the coolest person in the blog scene i know can you get me to understand how it is people hear about other people’s sites?
Thanks again,
Jboats
3.
LL | August 27, 2006 at 2:58 am
Both of my bosses grew up in England and their father was English. I only knew him for a little while because he passed away about a month after I was hired. His sons took over. I find their attitude towards America very interesting. The company I work for does very well and it has basically given them a life of leisure. They work, but they can certainly take time off and spend it in Vegas or whatever. They are millionaires. And yet I hear, “Oh Americans, they’re so fat and lazy. They are ungrateful. They are stupid.” On and on sometimes. It surprises me. Because these Americans that they talk about are the same ones working in their plant and earning them their millions. They do occasionally share their cultural things and because I’m pretty open to just about anything, I’ve learned that I love chutney, I’ll buy wonderful cheeses for all of us to sample, I giggle when they have their 10ish break (I can’t recall the term they use for it) and eat a little snack. But in the end, they are ENGLISH, not American…if only in attitude and allegience. You seem to have your allegience in the United States and for that, I thank you.
4.
1steak | August 27, 2006 at 3:12 am
he is right. so many americans are fat. the food makes people lazy. i was in london 5 months ago and have noticed a massive increase in the size of the bodies there. they are adopting many fast food chains now. my allegiance is not a competition. it has nothing to do with being first or the best. allegiance is in the heart. you see your response is a shaped of course by america and mine was not. maybe i didn’t explain it right. in america where everything must be judged to be the best and to hold the most value. otherwise it doesn’t have ANY value at all. this principle is very damaging. no where else in the world do people consider such principles. perhaps this is why people here don’t vote and remain in touch with politics. they don’t see the bigger picture. the english men that you work for are understanding of the fact that in order to make millions you must have a group of people who are willing to work unorganized for cheap labor. their fatness works in their favor. i bet they celebrate it.
5.
bein | August 29, 2006 at 11:51 pm
I really enjoyed your piece and LL comment is interesting in that it takes that so often taken global mentality of us and them.
As you so rightly point out it’s not about allegiance. Living in a different country from your birth can split you in two unless you celebrate the richness of the experience and acknowledge your past, your heritage so to speak, whilst enjoying what you have in the now.
Accents can sometimes create boundaries and isolation but it is a society rich in diversity that grows and you are an integral part of that.
6.
Michael Tim | February 28, 2009 at 4:51 pm
I love your site!
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